Life

Sometimes, I just feel that I don't want to continue my master. I am getting nowhere in the project. There seems to be like no guidance at all. How would my life be in the next 6 mths? My project is regarding about diapers. Right, about diapers with a system. From the beginning of this project, I am alone. They only gave ideas and recommendations. It's easy to just give the talk rather than doing themselves. I had to play with urine for god sake, carrying out test in the dirty room that consisted bacterias and viruses. No one would understand how I felt when I did the testing. They just want the result. If I got infected with viruses, who would care anyway.

What am I suppose to write for conference paper or journals? Effectiveness? Productivity? Heck, the hospital banned such a thing that was created bulky and inconvenience. I just don't know where to start and how to start. If I have a chance, I would rather take up coursework and dissertations rather than full research, which I feel alone. When I carry out this project in a dirty room, I got real sick with it due to I had to be in the dirty room more than 5 hours. Not even my supervisor would care about it even if I got sick. The nurses there advised me not to stay in the dirty room all the time as they feared for my health.

Feeling suicidal sometimes coz of this project. It's just like the same thing happen for another project which I agreed last time. I'd finish the 100 signs but with 2000+ designs. It took me a long time to render them. At first, I thought it was only 100 designs with the payment of RM600. It wasn't. I felt helplessly in that because I realized that the work I did, did not really compensate what I do. I feel that I really need a break, but heck, I can't coz I am laden with debts.

Love Story

It's a nice song. Though probably outdated a little while, yet it's still nice. I will upload the song on Monday. I lost the feeling long time but upon hearing this music, I become alive back.

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I’m standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns
See you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don’t go, and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet cause we’re dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything of me
I was begging you please don’t go and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they’re tryin to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it’s real
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess
It’s a love story baby just say yes
Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I’ve been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, marry me Juliet
You’ll never have to be alone
I love you and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It’s a love story baby just say yes

Oh, oh,
Oh, oh
Cause we were both young when I first saw you…