Love

There are many forms of Love. What is really love? Love needs sacrifices and not materials. Materials is just a want and not a need. When you love someone, no matter what he/she does, it is still sweet. Love by looking at materials will not be as happy as usual because one shall not evaluate the person's inner. I read half way about the book "One Minute for Yourself". It's true that one ought to take care of himself before taking care of thee and we.

Sometimes, rejection happens and the relationship turns sour, but for me, I am a person with big heart that shall forget everything and won't keep it in mind. Just click "next". For those past, I shall just treat them normal and help when needed. Nothing more. What is past is just a past. Just bless them with future happiness. I learnt to take care of myself better starting few days ago and I realized that I can be happy too if I close my eyes and asked myself "Do I take care of myself today?". Why one ought to show an unhappy face around to other people if one is really unhappy? Thus, this person is torturing himself/herself. Now, the virtue of happiness is laugh and smile, and everything shall be clear. If one just ignores me, it doesn't matter to me because he/she is torturing himself/herself.

In order to give myself more time, I tried to gain extra 1 hour everyday for myself. I shall try to wake up earlier to do what I should do for myself. There are a few things to settle tommorrow. One shall need to look at the broader picture and learn from the past.

Jimmy Lai asked me something which I clearly remembered till now. He asked "Do you know how to cook? Do you know how to do house chores?" Of course I do know how to cook and do house chores. Then he said, "good, next time, must treat your wife good and do them together. Never be an egoistic man that just command around." The conversation was something to be like that. It's true that many couples married nowadays, they face such problem where there will be no conversation among them after many years due to working environment. Thus, less and less conversation between them. Therefore, if the husband just sit around and doesn't help out, the wife will feel helpless because she has to handle them everyday.

When in a relationship, the starting will just be a hot and happy moment, but the turn around is different when it enters different stages. That would be just like in the graph above. Many people fail to understand that when times goes on, the relationship turns into a stale mate position. Less and less conversation and commitments to maintain the sparks. A relationship needs some spices and surprises to make it grows and become stronger. Never ever compare other people's lovers for everyone is different with their own strengths and weaknesses. No one is perfect after all. Thus, I promised myself not to be like the graph above. If you love someone, gives everything. Even if it fails, it's a destiny. What is yours will be yours, what isn't will not be.

There will always be a saying, never judge a book from its cover. One can use the flirting techniques to make a girl happy. Jokes, romantic environment moments and materials never fail to impress a girl. There will always be a player out there, just a matter of luck if some really meet up with that. A player will always change a new lover when he is bored with the old ones. Just like Sun Tzi Art of War. One needs to be responsible of his/her own actions.

I for now, just focus on myself. Shall I play in the Selangor Open? If I do, then I shall need to practice harder. The sprit "Never Give Up"!!! Failures is just a step away from success in the future. My love for Chess is borderless.

The Feeling of Winning

It has been a long time since I did not have the feeling of winning. Sometimes, you win something in order to lose something. For the past few days, I read a book, "One Minute for Yourself". I felt great when I choose to change. I need to take care of myself better first. Spending one hour extra for myself to take care of everything early in the morning.

Now, I have several work task to handle. The marks and rendering must be completed this week. Great powers come great responsibilities. The UM Zonal Sports is awaiting me too. I need to train several people in order to reclaim back the champion's medal that I underperformed last year. This time, I will play as solid as ever by using imaginative play. Study the position. There are many readings to do this month. After the UM Zonal sports, hopefully I can play for UM Staffs for the next tournaments. I shall better my record there. I must prove that I can really play chess!!!

There will be a lot of tournaments around. I shall pick a few and fight on. Never Give Up. If I find the right team, I shall play in the Merdeka Tournament too. It has been a long time I have never felt this focus.

Astonishing UiTM Chess Open

I played in the UiTM Chess Tournament on last Sunday. I never thought that many strong players would come. They were Ian Udani, Kamaluddin Yusof, Abdullah Che Hassan, etc. I was sitting at the 12 th table when the game started. I won the first 2 games and a row and got 2 points. I was shock to meet the 1st seeding player, Ian Udani, a Phillipine guy residing in Malaysia. It was terrible because I was at table 15th previously and now at TABLE 1!!! I tried to play my best against him. Everyone was watching a duel between Ian and I. I felt like a superstar that moment. Heh... Anyone got such experience before where everyone is watching over you within 50 cm and they are players from all ages. Well, luck wasn't on my side when I lost in a winning position due to time trouble. Maybe I used all my time thinking on how to win the game. Finally I falter but I gained some respect for gaining advantage on the position against Ian Udani.

Then after that, I was so tired. I used up all my strength against Ian Udani. I won the next round easily. In the 5th round, I was in a winning position but I used up all my time in thinking again. Well, that's luck I think. I NEVER GIVE UP on HOPE. I won my next 2 round in a great battle as I played safely. Finally, I scored 5/7 and I won the best IPT award for that. Though I was ranked 15th / 95 players, it's a good achievement anyway. I will keep on fighting. I will upload the picture in my friendster and facebook. Ganbatte....

Politicize of Languages

I feel ashamed with certain parties that politicize the languages problem. Learning Science and Maths in English is a positive moves. I learnt all the Science and Maths in BM, thus I had problems in understanding them when I entered university. What is the purpose of education then when there are a lot of different meanings when English is translated into BM? When the Gov started to implement that, it's a bilingual where students can answer them in two languages.

Isn't that in Form 5, they have more than 10 subjects. If there is an English course, what other subjects that use English? NONE if everything is BM. Even when we go out to work, accounts will always be in English. The terms and everything. Who would use BM to do accounts? I am pity with certain parties that use this opportunity to squash the government. Learning Science and Mathematics in English will not deteriorate the BM level. Instead, all teachers must use this as a platform to learn. Didn't the teachers know that learning never ends, thus, English in Science & Maths is important. The teachers told the students "Learning never ends" but do they understand that themselves? I believe not all teaches are like that. So, if those teachers in rural area do have problems in teaching subjects in English, why can't they upgrade themselves then? Is that hard? Who knows how to run when they are just born?

These kind of people bring shame to the education for not understanding the global needs. To understand science, one must learn English and not look at the past of how great the civilization was. Instead, learn from the past, to better the present. And not take advantage to gain political fame. BM will always remain our National language. Learning Science & Maths in English is not an insult to the BM language, because, there are many literature written in English. In University level, you need to write the Journals or Conference paper in English. Would we write "tetikus" in the conference? Just take a look at the Mathematics. If you translate certain words to BM, it sounds funny. If these students are sent to the foreign universities, will they excel? Look at the quality in public universities. When will Malaysia going to have that kind of standard? I despise those political parties that politicise languages for their own fame. If I send them to overseas, can they speak in English fluently? I may not be the best, but I learn till I die.

Deep Inside

I am sitting here writing my blog. For the past few months, I had been wandering around too much. I lost my concentration and think a lot of stuff. Everything seems urgent to handle. My mind is just too tired. Maybe deep down inside, I am lonely. Maybe that's the bachelor's life at this moment. Looking for the right one to settle down. There are options, but what are my future ahead? Sometimes, I do ask myself this question: "Which one do you prefer? A person who love you more than you love her/him? or vice versa." I don't know the answer for I don't want to hurt anyone. I just don't know...whether is that the right one. I don't want to think too much, for I don't want to wander around anymore. I am glad that she is around, but I can't commit myself into it at this moment. If I were to commit myself, I am not sure whether I can give 100% commitment anymore. Just let the destiny decides.

One of the leader, Jimmy Lai told me that as a man, whether husband or boyfriend, one must not be a chauvinist, that only hear of himself without thinking about others. It's true that, when a relationship enters into a few years time, everything will be dull. A man must help his woman around no matter where he is. One must let down the ego in order to have a stable relationship and not by comparing the other half.

I am just too tired...way too tired...that I want to escape from the human population that only got sea. I shall lie down on the beach and sip my red wine, enjoying the sea breeze. I need a break.

As human got multiple personalities, I do hope that I can terminate one of the personalities, which terrorize my mind. It distracts me. If given a chance, I would eliminate all my memories because it can terminate the personality off from my mind.