Chess has accompanied me for more than 18 years. I started playing chess since I was 12 years old. Ever since then, I fall in love with chess. I had no coaches. Just 1 book. At that time, I wasn't exposed to chess much till the university life. My life had always been studying. It was too late to learn deeper chess knowledge at the age of 20. There wasn't any excitement in my university life. The reason why I did not want to involve in relationship is, being responsible towards the other half, up to after graduation. I learnt a saying that "Take care of yourself first before taking care of others.".
I came from a normal family, where my parents need to support me and my brother at the university level. It was hard for my parents to support us. In order not to burden them much, I tried to find some extra resources during semester break. When everyone was enjoying their holiday, there I was, looking for chances to earn some extra decent income. Who am I to be in relationship when I can't even take care of myself that time? I can't burden my other half because of that.
Even if I had admiration towards someone in University, I was glad, it was not a successful pursue. Else, I won't be here today, learning about stocks and achieve towards early retirement. When I fall for someone, I would try to accommodate to her 120%. It happened once. Someone told me "Never stand to near to the tree, look around you. There are better trees out there. Since you stand too near, you can't see the actual's tree's leaves and fruits. Are they worth for you to sacrifice?" All of this happened on 2 weeks before my 2007 birthday. For 1.5 years, being the pursuer, I finally decided to give up after the fantastic words struck my mind. It was 4 years of admiration and 1.5 years as pursuer. I buried myself in chess competition for 11 days in Perlis, where I managed to whack 7.5 points out of 11 points. It was a hard decisions but, it was worthily to make such a move.
So there I was, June 23 2007. I stoned my heart for 3 years in University as tutor. I tried to find myself. Lack of motivation in life seeped in. I started to learn stocks in the middle of 2008.My motivations towards early retirement started to arise. As market crash, though, I was hold up in it, I kept it for 1 year before manage to sell it for a little profit. I started to look at blue chips. My first successful ever was buying Carlsberg Malaysia. At that time, Carlsberg was losing the share price to GAB, yet, when it pursued Carlsberg Singapore with cash, I viewed it in a different perspective. It's a business that generates income and expansion through Singapore.
As my contract ends on 11 January 2010, I needed to find a job. I was lucky and grateful to my course-mate who introduced me into the current company. Unexpectedly, I was given a chance to go to Singapore. It was a great chances. I grabbed it immediately. Life wasn't that great as I was busy learning. There wasn't any great entertainment other than watching dramas and entered chess competitions.
All this started to change till I met her on August 7 2011. Her eyes are kind of shining. My frozen heart started to melt, that I wanted to know about her. These FROZEN HEART melted after all these 5 YEARS!!! I managed to establish contacts with her. I tried to know more about her, understand her and concern about her. Guess she will be the 2nd girl I ever wanted to know. I am not sure whether she knows about my pursuant that time, before I really confessed.
I remembered her birthday, February 20th. Before that, I remembered that she said that her working place was kind of hot. Thus, I remind myself that I must buy a USB fan for her. To be more precise, I added usb cables for her as well, just in case, it wasn't long enough to attach to her PC. I was thoughtful of her plight. Therefore, I knew she was having stress at work. Thus, I included the 3rd item, a small doggy toy, to accompany her when she is sad or stress. 3 things. Yet, it took a month to really give her those birthday present.
I was a sore loser for confessing that in WHATSAPP!!!
It's because, I HAD NEVER EVER CONFESSED TO A GIRL FACE TO FACE BEFORE!!!
Before that, I did a stupid ever thing which would be eating McDonalds, for 4 weeks, just to get the Hello Kitty for her, without knowing that she dislikes Hello Kitty. The worse part was, I stitch my confessions on 1 of the Hello Kitty. It took me 1 hour to sew that on the toy. Nearly prickle my fingers. What a dumb person I am? Trying to give surprises, backfire myself. She kept on pushing away those Hello Kitty back to me, thus, the message wasn't pass to her. I don't know whether she notice there're words at 1 of the toys.
Guess, my chance to really have her as my soul-mate, would be near to 0%, as she often rejected me when I asked her out. It's so hard to date her out. If only it's proven wrong, that she will instead ask me out either eating or watching movies, I would be glad. I guess, it's all in a fairytale. I want to treat and concern her more. I want to bring her along with me to wherever I will go, be it Japan, Korea or Hong Kong or Europe. I want to give her surprises and memories that she will never forget. I think it will always remain to happen in a dream. I just can hold her and dream of her smile in my sleep. Sometimes, I just don't feel like waking up, and continue dreaming about her. At least, I can live in dreamland forever, see her smile and celebrate each other's birthdays..... sounds sad celebrating my own birthday in a room, facing 4 walls in reality...
No comments:
Post a Comment