My Birthday

While writing this, I wish that the special one would know that today is My birthday. I remember her birthday, Feb 20. I tried to remember every single thing about her, knowing her more and getting close to her. But I got tongue tied. I wish to see her everyday. Will that come true?


For the 2nd time in my life, ever since  June 23 2007, till I met her on August 2012, I have no worries. All I did is about myself. There are a lot of things that I want to do for her. I just don't know why. Maybe that's because I am fond of her. What are my chances? I have no idea...Due to lack of confidence in this relationship thing. When I want to be in serious relationship, I vow that I will give 120% commitment to her only. I am just scared that she will ignore me, and that's why I have been having insomnia lately, and emotional too. With just a single word, I am motivated. 


Yet. if she ask me, I will use all my courage to say, "Yes, 520". Just don't know why can't type that word out. Need practise? If she ever sees this blog, I have no regret letting her know that, I want to protect her and be by her side.
    
Why am I so timid in expressing myself? I dare to whack all my opponents in chess, even though I am not a highly rated player. I am just an avid hobbyist, trying to prove that, there's nothing to worry or scared of. When I look into her eyes, there's something that attracts me to her. I want her to smile. I like to see her smile. If only she would sms me to wish me Happy Birthday, I am delighted.


Sometimes, I asked myself, why would being Mr.Nice guy always finish last? Should become bad guy instead? They say "Nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai". Well just let fate decide. I will just be myself.