Sigh

I am tired with life. I have no idea why it struck my mind. To others, she is just an ordinary person, but to me, she is someone special. It has been a long time that I had lost this kind of feeling. However, I feel like being distanced away from her. Slowly drifting apart. Maybe I am not meant to be the one. It's always me who establish contacts. Will she contact me instead, letting me know what she is doing daily? I doubt so. I remember her everyday when I wake up. 

Should I go back to play chess competitively and stoned my heart again for a year or 2 again? At this moment, I think she is diving in Thailand. I'd not whatsapp her for near to 3 months. Guess, I made no impact to her life. Guess she doesn't want me to know her. Year 2012 gonna end in a month's time. I feel so tired. I am so tired with life. I feel like going for a vacation to somewhere there's no people living at that area. An island maybe. I can only dream of clinging to her shoulder when I am down and at the lowest point of my life. It will always be in dream. The only dream that never comes true. I am just feeling tired deep in my heart.